10 Things I've learned from being offshore

10 Things I've Learned From Being Offshore

1. Any Tannoy announcement you can't quite hear will always sound like it is for you OR if you can hear the announcement you won't be able to hear the number to call.
2. 'Custard' means different things to different chefs.
3. People who work out in Gyms have Shit taste in music.
4. Never trust anyone in clean overalls.
5. Being a 'Mud Engineer' is nowhere near as cool as it sounds.
6. Most people who work offshore seem obsessed with terrible Brit/Gangster/Hooligan films.
7. 'A Week' can mean a lot of different things (Time becomes elastic when at sea).
8. Even the most unfit looking person can somehow 'Pass' a medical.
9. Anything that goes wrong offshore that needs help from onshore will happen some time after 17.00Hrs on a Friday.
10. Guys who work for 'Chubb' do not like being called 'Chubster' (They hate 'Chubby' even more...)
11. The best way to meet 'New' and 'Interesting' people is to barrier off a walkway.
12. I can't count...